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rtbcIII wrote: ↑Sat Jul 30, 2022 12:52 am My modest proposal:

Joe Orton's Up Against It script, with Muppet Beatle-played-characters in a live-action world that features a CGI Marlon Brando in three roles, and the real Meryl Streep in two.

Produced by Jackson, but directed by Nicolas Winding-Refn.

Shot in original three-camera Cinerama @ 65fps, with each strip projected on separate IMAX screens mounted side-by-side in an arena.

Sound via the resurrected quintophonic system of Ken Russell's Tommy in a hybrid set-up also featuring 8-foot plywood Sensurround subwoofer cabinets.

Original music and Fabs covers by The Dukes of Stratosphear. End title song by whichever talentless, siliconed pop tart is surfing the charts at the moment.

Medley of the above played live as intermission music by The Black Watch. (selected theaters only)

Fab Popcorn in giant plastc lenticular 3D souvenir tubs featuring the Muppet Lads, all three Brando characters and both of Streep's. Price: $55 (popcorn $7 extra).

Every ticket comes with two complimentary tablets of Advil. 10 oz. water bottle to down them with: $8.

Lord Reith wrote: ↑Sat Jul 30, 2022 10:08 am

rtbcIII wrote: ↑Sat Jul 30, 2022 12:52 am My modest proposal:

I would really like to see The Beatles Do Amsterdam, a three-part miniseries depicting the events that took place in the whorehouse where John described himself crawling out of the place on his hands and knees.

rtbcIII wrote: ↑Sat Jul 30, 2022 6:41 pm

Lord Reith wrote: ↑Sat Jul 30, 2022 10:08 am

rtbcIII wrote: ↑Sat Jul 30, 2022 12:52 am My modest proposal:

I would really like to see The Beatles Do Amsterdam, a three-part miniseries depicting the events that took place in the whorehouse where John described himself crawling out of the place on his hands and knees.

Sounds just like something Orton would've written!

Final shot: One of Amsterdam's finest temp workers pulls on her nylon stockings, takes a long drag off a ciggy, then bends over to kiss a sleeping, pajama-clad Ringo on the cheek. As she turns to leave, we see one of Ringo's eyes pop open as the corner of his mouth curls into a little smile. She leaves. He farts.
Blackout.

Lord Reith wrote: ↑Tue Aug 02, 2022 11:06 pm I've just been sent a memo from one of Peter Jackson's assistants...

The new biopic will be called Tonsillitis! The Musical and will be a 3 hour musical extravaganza written by Howard Goodall about Ringo's stay at Middlesex University College Hospital (or Middlesexy University College Hospital as it will be known in the film) in 1964.

Actors tipped for the lead role are Wesley Snipes and John Boyega, with Whoppee Goldberg the hot tip to play Brian Epstein's mother Queenie. The plot is a homage to A Hard Day's Night and centres around three days in the hospital where Ringo and his nurses and doctors get up to hilarious antics. Some of the musical numbers suggested include:

- Annathaesia (Go To Him)

- I'm Happy Just To Sponge Bath With You (aka "Ode To A Pretty Nurse")

- If I Fell Out Of Bed

- I'll Cry In Bed (Ringo hears about being left out of the Far East tour)

- The Ward (a brillaint cast number where the entire patient ward joins in singing Say "The Ward" and you'll be free...)

- I'm Looking Through You (aka The Radiologist's Song)

- Run For Your Life (Ringo is chased through the ward by hysterical nurses with hypodermic needles)

- When I Get Home



More details as they come to hand...