Ok this is my favourite one:
How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
Five.
One is changing the bulb, and the other four are discussing how much better Ginger Baker would have done it.
MUSICIANS JOKES
Re: MUSICIANS JOKES
My favorite joke that musicians tell is the one they tell on stage. Especially now with the in-ear monitors they have. The joke goes like this:
Lead Singer: "mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble"
Bass Player: "mumble mumble mumble"
Lead Singer: "mumble mumble mumble mumble"
Whole Band: "HAHAHAHAHAHA"
Audience: *crickets*
Audience: "Did you understand any of that?"
Lead Singer: "mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble"
Bass Player: "mumble mumble mumble"
Lead Singer: "mumble mumble mumble mumble"
Whole Band: "HAHAHAHAHAHA"
Audience: *crickets*
Audience: "Did you understand any of that?"
Re: MUSICIANS JOKES
What do musicians think onstage during a show?
lead singer: "After the gig I'll get the sweet blondie in the first row."
led guitarist: "I'm the greatest, I'm the best."
drummer: "Hell where's my drink?"
bass player: "E-E-E-E-A-A-E-E-B-A-E-E..."
lead singer: "After the gig I'll get the sweet blondie in the first row."
led guitarist: "I'm the greatest, I'm the best."
drummer: "Hell where's my drink?"
bass player: "E-E-E-E-A-A-E-E-B-A-E-E..."
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Re: MUSICIANS JOKES
This is my favourite accordian player joke:
A professional accordian player gets a 3 hour gig at a pub across town, on New Year's Eve.
The night comes, and it is a huge success. There are requests, drinks sent up from the audience, singalongs and women asking for his phone number.
After the gig, the landlord says..
"Wow, that was terrific! Can I offer you the gig for next New Year's Eve as well?!"
"Sure!" replies the accordian player excitedly. "Can I leave my accordian here till then?"
A professional accordian player gets a 3 hour gig at a pub across town, on New Year's Eve.
The night comes, and it is a huge success. There are requests, drinks sent up from the audience, singalongs and women asking for his phone number.
After the gig, the landlord says..
"Wow, that was terrific! Can I offer you the gig for next New Year's Eve as well?!"
"Sure!" replies the accordian player excitedly. "Can I leave my accordian here till then?"
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Re: MUSICIANS JOKES
Perfect pitch:
When you throw an accordion in the garbage and it lands on a banjo.
When you throw an accordion in the garbage and it lands on a banjo.
Eye. Eyesore a girl in my dreams.
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Re: MUSICIANS JOKES
Ha ha!mojofilter wrote: ↑Thu Jul 21, 2022 10:54 pm Perfect pitch:
When you throw an accordion in the garbage and it lands on a banjo.
Here's my second favourite accordian joke:
An accordian player is driving across town late one night with his instrument on the back seat. Halfway through his journey, he is siezed by the need to take a leak. He spots a service station (that's a gas station) but is worried about leaving his accordian unattended on the back seat. What if someone breaks into the car while he's in the toilet?
He can't hold on any longer though, and decides to chance it. He parks the car, leaves the accordian in the back and dashes to the toilet.
When he returns and sees his car, his heart sinks. The rear window is smashed, and there on the back seat is another accordian sitting next to his.
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Re: MUSICIANS JOKES
How many lead singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. He holds it and the world revolves around him.
How do you know if a drummer is knocking on your door?
He speeds up.
One. He holds it and the world revolves around him.
How do you know if a drummer is knocking on your door?
He speeds up.
Eye. Eyesore a girl in my dreams.
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Re: MUSICIANS JOKES
mojofilter wrote: ↑Fri Jul 22, 2022 12:49 am How many lead singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. He holds it and the world revolves around him.
How do you know if a drummer is knocking on your door?
He speeds up.